Thursday, August 10, 2017
The flow brought me to a place full of nothingness
I tried the Stepford route
I played by the rules and all I felt was emptiness
A joyful bump came along my path
unwelcome, unexpected
Little did I know to feel alive, it was exactly what I needed
The bump became a hole
A hole I dug far too deep
but I felt like myself again, it felt like a feat
Now it's all troubles and bills
but I'm back dreaming about frills
I woke up the girl inside this woman
and she's giddy, oh so giddy
on the mirror I see someone pretty, and that someone is me
I now have 3 moms.
I have a biological mom who supports me financially.
I have a godmother who supports me emotionally
I have a spiritual mother who supports me spiritually.
I never thought in the midst of all of this, I could be so lucky
as to have all of them three, just for me!
Tuesday, July 18, 2017
Friday, March 02, 2012
STAPH INFECTIONS
I've been suffering from staph infections for over 6 years now.
when i got pregnant i got 3 boils every month and that was very difficult.
i've had 2 out patient operations because of this.
but i know that many of you have been suffering this too
and as much as we'd all like to share our pain,
what we really need is a cure.
my first attempts were shamefully stupid
but rest assured that it only gets better.
i am here to talk about what i have tried
and what the effects were of each treatment or medicine
i'll start from my first to the most recent which was 3 months ago.
(yey!)
i know you might have gone to a doctor
and the doctor told you this and that
this posting is not to force you to do anything.
these are merely the things that I did.
1. remedy: it was itchy i scratched, things got ugly.
my sister used the nipper to open up the "pimple"
and cleaned it out with alcohol
YIKES
and i drank antibiotics (Cloxacillin)
mom said first dose should be double, i finished all 22 caps.
effect: loss of voice from all the screaming, still had boils the month after
2. remedy: tea tree oil, clean sheets, clean room, clean everything, no sugar/ice cream/coke diet, 5x a day baths OC mode
effects: minty fresh skin with boils
3. remedy: diet! it might be the fats talking. no fats, no refined sugars, no oil, work out, sun exposure, maintain cleanliness like crazy, kill anyone who sits on my bed with a butt that didn't come from the shower.
effects: a lot of fights with my sister, lost a little weight, maintained boils
4. remedy: crushed garlic on top of boils
effects: a stinky workplace (i denied that it was me who stunk), when the garlic slipped the bandage, it burnt part of my skin that didn't have the boil and i still have 2 scars from the 1 ONE garlic. just 1 garlic. 2 scars. awesome.
5. remedy: eat a lot of natural antibiotic a.k.a. GARLIC
effects: ohhh i love garlic and always have but this time it burned my mouth, i couldn't eat for a day. tried different kinds of soaps. bought 6 kinds of soaps per month. still maintained boils every month
6. remedy: cut open the boils, have someone pinch the pus out then put extremely hot water and crushed aspirin then bandage (used several meds even popped an antibiotic open and placed powder on top of wound)
effects: visible scar with keloid, can no longer wear shorts without being ashamed and continued to maintain monthly boils
7. remedy: operation, cloxacillin and then augmentin, bath with sulfur soap only
effects: weight gain due to meds and acids, maintained monthly boils
8. remedy: zantac and a whole lot of crying due to pregnancy
effects: went to Infectious Diseases doctor, had samples taken from my ears and nose, it was inconclusive and was worth 2000Php. i couldn't afford to have the other tests to find out the bottom of all of this. by this time i have spent more or less 30,000Php and didn't want to spend anymore on myself and just spend it on my daughter
9. ***remedy: ICHTYOL ointment, the older folks said that's what they used back in the day. put ichtyol on the boils and bandage
effects: the boils popped sooner and the scar wasn't horrible and instead of the 7 day routine of each boil, it came down to 4-5 days max. when the boil popped you could literally pull out the "sac" of the pus.
10. *** remedy: my mom forced me to drink a garlic essence capsule NOT GARLIC OIL! GARLIC ESSENCE (it was said to be just the scent of garlic)
effects: wow! no boils for 2 months
11. *** remedy: calmoseptine. for red bumps that are itchy or just any bumps in question
effects: itchy bumps did not become itchy therefore minimizing boils, BUT the staph came out of my eye instead, like stye
12. *** remedy: eye ointment recommended by the doctor
effects: eyes good, skin bad. again. i'm not surprised i should say
14. ***remedy: lactobacillus something soap
effects: OH MY... no recurrence ever since used. it dries us the crazy bumps and peel off 2 days after.
btw, i didn't miss the numbering, having this condition/disease, i've become so paranoid and superstitious. and there were several remedies that i did that i did not bother to mention, there was just soooo many that i tried.
NOW, i use calmoseptine if i have bumps specially in the inner thighs and armpits, use the lactobacillus soap daily (but you might get extremely dry skin due to this so use lotion, i use aveeno) and keep a stash of ichtyol ointment and eye ointment just in case. xx crossing my fingers that i wouldn't have to use them again.
i have been thinking for the longest time to post thgis information because when i got pregnant and desperate, i turned to the net for advice and some of the things i tried were from the net, so here's to giving it back.
i hope the remedies work for you.
and if you want to try what i've been using and you are not in the philippines,
just message me and we might be able to arrange something so i can send the meds to you.
by the way, if you know someone in the philippines and ask them to buy the things i mentioned, i highly doubt they can find it. hehehe
be healthy!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
updates
in such a short span
i have already forgotten
who i was and who i am
overwhelmed by the concern of what will happen
quizzing on trivial things about each other
personal querries such as favorites of one another
these kept me wondering what do i want now
what is my favorite color? is it brown?
here is an update of what i think i am
although this is unreliable, there is no other source
MUSIC:
I. Fresh Hits
1. Right Now (NaNaNa)- Akon
2. That's Not My Name - The Ting Tings
3. Forget About Me - Little Bit
II. Recurrent
1. Tisbury Lane - Mae
2. Sana'y Maulit Muli - Regine Velasquez (bite me)
3. Heart of Mine - Boz Scaggs
III.Dance
1. My Love - Justin Timberlake
2. Love In This Club - Usher
3. Apologize - One Republic
IV. Chill
1. Breathe - Telepopmusik
2. All I See - Kylie Minogue
3. Your Eyes (2008) - Simply Red
TV SHOW:
1. Lipstick Jungle - nothing beats SATC but this will have to do. i love the fact that there is a chinky eyed girl as a main character.
2. Pushing Daisies - ran out of shows to watch and found out that this show is interesting and makes me sleep like a baby (oddly)
3. Brothers & Sisters - i HATE this show. 'nuff said.
MAKE UP:
1. Maybelline Angel Fit Face Powder - leaves you flawless after one puff
2. Nivea Lip Care Strawberry - cheap and does the job
3. Bobby Brown Brushes Travel Kit - love its durability and the Ultra Fine Eye Liner Brush? there are no words to describe how magnificent it is.
GRIEF:
1. Nothing to do except daily house chores (sooo Season 1 Bree)
2. Lack of good underwear that fits and is still in top condition
3. My Health... Hubag everywhere... kill me. NOW.
AQUIRED:
1. A SLIGHT interest on reggae and rastafarian (the slightest you can imagine, think powder)
2. An iPod Nano 3rd generation but ako nang napunder ang suga. don't ask me how. i have magic hands, bitaw sala ni Masi.
3. And last but NOT the least, My Own Little Angel who is growing inside me tummy for 23 weeks now... i can't wait to meet you, Joey.
*** maybe i'll be able to make another update in 2 years time when little Joey can survive beyond the reach of my hands.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
making my own problems again
im in the same shell
going around in circles
only my age is going on a consistent,
and unfortunately, upward motion.
their ages seem to dwindle though
now they come in the package of 20's...
i never thought that it would come to this
that i'd come to appreciate & enjoy
happiness in a pack of 20's
sounds so familiar
(ehem... just like my box of cigarettes)
yes...
whatever =the question is...
i say yes to that.
going around in circles
only my age is going on a consistent,
and unfortunately, upward motion.
their ages seem to dwindle though
now they come in the package of 20's...
i never thought that it would come to this
that i'd come to appreciate & enjoy
happiness in a pack of 20's
sounds so familiar
(ehem... just like my box of cigarettes)
yes...
whatever =the question is...
i say yes to that.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Lose It
"Sex could KILL you
Do you know what the human body goes through,
when you have sex?
Pupils dilate, arteries constrict
core temperature rises, heart races
blood pressure sky rockets,
respiratory becomes rapid and shallow,
the brains fires bursts of electrical impulses
from nowhere to nowhere,
and secretions spit out of every gland,
and the muscles tenses spasms
like you are lifting three times your body weight,
it's violent, it's ugly, and its messy.
and if God didnt make it unbelievably fun,
the human race would have died out eons ago."
-Allison Cameron, HOUSE M.D.
I have also read or heard somewhere:
that during sex,
you lose yourself,
and you find yourself again afterwards.
i think this is what it means:
you lose yourself in forgetting your insecurities
being naked, bold & raw with no dressed-up pretentions
you lose yourself in trying to please your partner
engaging your mind fully in communicationg
you lose yourself in your own pleasure
forgetting everything else, except your sensations.
you find yourself in being happy & contented
being gratified ,even for a moment, in its sincerest form.
you find yourself knowing what you want
whether it is what you gave or what has been given that you enjoyed.
you find yourself communicating
not only to your partner but also to yourself.
many times before, we've heard the phrase
"Lose Yourself"
but people often times misconceive this idea
as being out of control and out of bounds
when in fact,
this means to set yourself lose
because although control is good at times
Control is not good all the time.
especially when it comes to matters of the heart
wherein we should cease to use our minds
because in actuality,
our bodies are already doing something about it
even without your asking for it to,
but the implementation of this would need your consent
and thats where the trouble begins.
i bet you've heard people say,
"Believe your gut".
they have a reason for saying it.
stop thinking.
stop analyzing.
morever, stop over-analyzing.
don't swim against the current
flow with it.
even if a fall is ahead,
you would never know where it leads you.
it might be where you should be.
Do you know what the human body goes through,
when you have sex?
Pupils dilate, arteries constrict
core temperature rises, heart races
blood pressure sky rockets,
respiratory becomes rapid and shallow,
the brains fires bursts of electrical impulses
from nowhere to nowhere,
and secretions spit out of every gland,
and the muscles tenses spasms
like you are lifting three times your body weight,
it's violent, it's ugly, and its messy.
and if God didnt make it unbelievably fun,
the human race would have died out eons ago."
-Allison Cameron, HOUSE M.D.
I have also read or heard somewhere:
that during sex,
you lose yourself,
and you find yourself again afterwards.
i think this is what it means:
you lose yourself in forgetting your insecurities
being naked, bold & raw with no dressed-up pretentions
you lose yourself in trying to please your partner
engaging your mind fully in communicationg
you lose yourself in your own pleasure
forgetting everything else, except your sensations.
you find yourself in being happy & contented
being gratified ,even for a moment, in its sincerest form.
you find yourself knowing what you want
whether it is what you gave or what has been given that you enjoyed.
you find yourself communicating
not only to your partner but also to yourself.
many times before, we've heard the phrase
"Lose Yourself"
but people often times misconceive this idea
as being out of control and out of bounds
when in fact,
this means to set yourself lose
because although control is good at times
Control is not good all the time.
especially when it comes to matters of the heart
wherein we should cease to use our minds
because in actuality,
our bodies are already doing something about it
even without your asking for it to,
but the implementation of this would need your consent
and thats where the trouble begins.
i bet you've heard people say,
"Believe your gut".
they have a reason for saying it.
stop thinking.
stop analyzing.
morever, stop over-analyzing.
don't swim against the current
flow with it.
even if a fall is ahead,
you would never know where it leads you.
it might be where you should be.