To you, my optimistic impression

Why does it seem that
the mood of the post was gloomy?
Why is it that i feel
elated, relieved and regretful synchronously?
I did not want to bother you either
But i did wonder on launching a letter
I do not mean history to rekindle nor revive
I do suppose a serene calloquy is suffice
A request to absolvethis forthcoming TAINTLESS query
Mind that on options, notions and replications, be wary
Although a favorable response would be appreciated
Intrigue me to discover the details of the tattle transmission you denoted

Let me remind you that it was then in past tense
When i had all 'em digits, key punches and mail dot coms
However, presently, with conscientious contrivance
All 'em now a free memory space that my gadget dons

go on

i never wanted to prove a point
but the fact that THERE are WOMYN who love lesbians without conditions
maybe you took it the wrong way
maybe i took the wrong step
i really don't care now.

mental telephathy sent

i learned so much on what happened through your year
by missing out on most of my classes i didn't mind because
i was glad i learned all of those that i now know.
i don't want to be pressumptious but on Nov. 20 you mentioned
about rediscovery and being glad.
i am relieved that you feel all those things now
that you have stopped pressuring yourself to time constraints.
i'm happy that you made a bold move.
i'm calmed to know you still have your solid friendships.
although 1 i doubt highly.
i am concious and i am not blind.
i might pretend to be but don't be fooled.
i was wondering...
should i get in touch to know your opinion,
about
EITHER wanting to be agreeably non-chalant and non-minding
and pretending to be never to have known each other
OR to reconcile and be mere acquaintances who never get in touch
but are in truce
OR wait for the doom's day to battle it out?
if it is your gameplan to keep me wondering... that's fine by me.
i am young
but i realize
that time is running
and i have to keep my pace.
i can't sit and wonder possibilities that are endless.
i can stop and smell the flowers, that i feel worth wasting my time on.
so let that be your decision.
for me i don't want to die with grudges. i am done.
i will be free.
am i november womyn?
two close friends? how did it come to be that
someone else got inbetween? we could've straightened things out
by ourselves.
you have to learn how to keep things to yourself sometimes because i have. i learned it the hard way.
what i can say is that i didn't mean to hurt you.
you're happy now, i'm glad.

major shift

its amazing that you didn't sabotage this blog.
it's all the same and i don't mind
the days are longer
my patience back shorter
wonder why?
ask the new guy.
whatever influence he made on me
has affected many things severely
trust isn't something i gave away
but time spent is time lost my shame
the principles i held on
is but a distant memory
maybe i'm new
maybe it's just a phase
it's possibly a major shift
that everyone but i
will be happily die